I think I need a little time out… I think we all do… just for a second. I’ve been blog hopping this morning and also reading some of the news media and I just really felt compelled to blog about this. Perhaps I don’t fully understand… perhaps I do… I am not really sure. The hot topic (besides political garbage) is Domestic Violence. It breaks my heart. I have a personal story, which I will share in a minute. I was reading Tiffani’s blog and her story is really really sad. Could you imagine? Her post was prompted by the recent news with Jennifer Hudson. Her mother and brother were shot to death. This crime was said to have been commited by her sister’s husband. Her nephew is said to be missing and the husband is not cooperating with police. How incrediably sad. Jennifer’s father died when she was a teen so she has a very close relationship with her mother. I am sure she is just devestated right now. I could not even begin to imagine.Â
I personally have dealt with domestic violence. I was in an abusive realtionship. I was 17 when I got out of the relationship. The first few times I took the hits. I made excuses. I believed the “I’m Sorry.” I honestly thought that this was part of the way a relationship should be. Here’s why… my mother was in a very abusive relationshop for years with my biological father. I had seen this behavior and she stayed. So why wasn’t it okay? My mom stayed!??!?! Well one day, I had a bad day and I guess it was just enough was enough. I was pushed over the edge. He started his usual fight with me, started to hit me and I happened to be in the kitched. I grabbed for a pan and used it as a weapon. I dialed 911 and although I couldn’t talk they could hear this in the background and also trace the address. Authorities were disbatched. I was able to use my “weapon” to keep me safe long enough until police arrived. He had a knife and was planning to use it. I don’t know if his intensions were to kill me or just get back at me for using a weapon on him. Thankfully before he got to use it (although I did have cuts from him swinging it at me) the police arrived and broke the door down… They saved my life. I should have walked away the first time. The second time… but I believed it was okay because I had seen it as a child and my mom never got hurt… or so I thought!! The emotional scars from that day are deep. I have a few physical scars and I’ve lost 50% hearing in my right ear from him punching my face and ear but I am thankful I am alive. I am thankful I was able to stand in front of the judge and tell my story. I am thankful I am here to write about it. I shake everything I think about this day. He was convicted… He served 6 months. A slap on the wrist. It makes me sick. I know his brother and still talk to him when I see him. I seen his brother 3 years ago and he told me he was going through a divorce and court (the ex – my abuser) because he had done a similar thing to his wife. It makes me so sad. He never learned a thing.
Anyhow… my point in writing this is… if you or someone you love is in a situation like mine above, or Jennifer’s sister, PLEASE contact a local Domestic Violence shelter or your local authorities and get out, before it turns tragic. You never know when your abuser will turn, and you don’t want to! Here’s a link. And here’s a state by state listing of places you can go for help. Lastly, the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Please… STAY SAFE!!!!
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Sorry you had to go through that but so happy you got out before it was too late. I think that penalties for domestic violence & child abuse should be even stiffer than other violent crimes. After all the perpetrator is preying on the very people who look to him for safety & protection.
I understand this. I was in a relationship with a man that was also abusive. Luckily for me, he didn’t follow when I left him. And even more blessed, my husband (then boyfriend) was very protective of me. I learned that a there are better ways to deal with disagreements, and that no one should ever hit me. I am one of the lucky ones. My husband spent many years loving me and teaching me this new way of life. Although I don’t like thinking about my past, I appreciate how it has strengthened me, and how it brought my wonderful husband into my life. I agree with Tiffani, the penalties should be harsher.
so sorry about all the sadness
God Bless you
Hugs from the Czech Republic
Sorry, I had to skip over most of this post because I was a kid who witnessed domestic violence and it still shakes me to my core when I hear the stories. You may be seeing it in the news more because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. At least that’s what the electronic sign says when I drive on to post.